Blog

October 14, 2022

Request an Interpreter

I don’t need help.

I don’t need pity.

I don’t need prayers.

I don’t need your patronizing superiority.

Disability is a stupid word.

I refuse to bow down to your perceived “power” over me.

Underestimate me.

Do it. I dare you.

Layers

Layers

Layers

Layers

Layers

Down the rabbit hole.

It’s Guerilla Warfare.

Daily lashes, lashes, lashes.

Who or what can I target to fight back?

Accept the lashes, the hurt, the pain.

Can’t give it back.

"They didn’t know any better.”

What to do with all this pain?

Sometimes all I can feel is rage and hurt and I have to process what it is I'm so angry about. I'm doing my best to write it out and explain it.

This school year I feel like someone is forcing my hand to formally request an interpreter for staff meetings and professional development at work. The past 4 years at work, the preK interpreters have willingly interpreted for me. The difference this year is there are formal trainings which the interpreters themselves need to to learn.

Interpreters can not simultaneously interpret information and learn it. It uses different parts of their brain. My understanding is it's like reading passage in a book while multi-tasking or being distracted. You read it, but you don't know what you just read. I found out another school for the deaf will hire outside agency interpreters for staff meeting which staff interpreters need to attend. It's a valid request of my friends/advocates/interpreters/warriors.

My friends/advocates/interpreters/warriors/super heroes tried to make the request on my behalf. Similar to a sick day. I can't interpret the x,y,z meeting, can we please get a "sub."

No. Legally the request has to come from me.

It makes sense logically.

But in my heart I feel like I have to leave my wonderful, amazing, supportive friends and advocates behind. Put my shields down and walk to battle alone.

I've been torturing myself this past week.

Not sleeping, crying, drinking, skipping workouts, feeding my feelings doing everything I can to avoid and delay my feelings.

"If you need an interpreter just ask for one. Just tell us what you need."

This upsets me.

'It's so easy, what is your problem? Why is this such a big deal?'

The lack of understanding hurts and angers me.

It is not about whether my work will or will not provide an interpreter. It is not a legal fight. Thank goodness. I'm blessed for that. For many people it is a legal battle.

I am not angry about being born Deaf/Hard of Hearing. I know my mom, as any loving mom would, felt/feels guilty that she somehow made me deaf. Please do not feel that way. I do not wish I was hearing. I do not live with regret. I like being deaf. It's kind of cool. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't me.

What is it?

In my funny little brain, somehow my signature on a formal document requesting an interpreter as an accommodation equates to me accepting I am 'less than.' I am signing my voice away.

The word "accommodation" itself means you are less than and have to be accommodated to be like everyone else. 

Almost 40 years worth of memories, experiences, history come at me at once and I feel like I'm curled in a ball on the ground taking a beating. You can not have access until you admit you are less.

Just advocate for yourself. What's the big deal?

I need to claw the ableist superiority off my skin.

Your power covering me, suffocating me.

GET OFF OF ME

This is my voice.

This is my power.

Write it out, write it out, write it out, write it out, write it out

Hard-won wisdom I have earned. 

To quote Hamilton:

"Pick up a pen, start writing

I wanna talk about what I have learned

The hard-won wisdom I have earned."

Why Me? Why am I Deaf/Hard of Hearing?

Dear Students who are DHH,

I would like to share 10 lessons I have learned. How being DHH has made me a better person.

1. You have been excluded from conversations.

This will build you into a great leader. You will ensure everyone on your team has a voice and has the opportunity to be heard.

2. You have experience being unfairly accused of "not listening" or "ignoring" people.

This experience makes you more understanding of others. Lets say your employee shows up late for work. Instead of labeling them ‘lazy,’ you will wonder, What happened?

Let's say someone writes, "I am child book. I want publish a first book.’ Instead of thinking they are unintelligent, you wonder if English is their second language.

3. Following others as a coping skill in school.

You watch what others do. For example, lining up for recess, lining up for a fire alarm, watching how to do the gym class relay and copy them.

Unfortunately, this sets you up to be a follower. You may feel, "*gasp* I must be doing something wrong if no one else is going this way!"

You will learn how to fight against this current.

Eventually, you'll realize your own power of seeing everything from a unique perspective. You will notice body language, environmental clues, and when people are excluded. You will see events which other people don't see.

This makes you an asset and a leader.

4. Response Effort & Listening Fatigue,

You constantly explain and fight for what you need.

Why? Why do I have to go through all this response effort of telling people what I need? Ask for accommodations in advance? Ask for interpreters a month before a conference. Spend time searching for special times of interpreted plays. Educating the uninformed and RUDE public.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

No, it's not, but it will benefit you in the end. You have such a strong work ethic, organizational skills, and perseverance. You will realize you work 10 times harder than other people. It builds grit. Your experiences fighting for yourself may help you fight for other people. Who knows, maybe you'll become a lawyer, a judge, or a lobbyist.

5. The times you missed the whistle.

Your experiences of missing the soccer whistle, the lifeguard whistle at the pool, or the microwave timer when your food is done....this will become a benefit.

When you are older and someone decides it's a good idea to give your child a whistle, it won't bother you a lick. 

Your daughter is in 6th grade band learning how to play the xylophones? Totally fine.

Your son in 4th grade bringing home a school recorder? No problem.

Screeching fire alarm which hurts your ears? take your aids/cochlear implants off and you’re good to go.

This is called a "deaf benefit."

6. Not hearing your child cry.

When you are an adult you may have children. You may become a "helicopter parent" to make sure your child is always in your line of sight so you can see if they are ok. Alas, no matter how hard you try, you may miss their crying. Another parent will bring your hurt child over to you. You feel like the worst parent in the world.

From this experience you will learn how it truly takes a village to raise a child. It's not all on you. An aunt may show them how to play ball, a neighbor will teach them responsibility when raking leaves, and another parent will help you when your child is hurt.

This builds a support system, a community, a team.

7. Different listening environments.

You know a 1:1 small room is much better to hear in than a noisy, dark restaurant. You have experience with windy days vs. inside, car rides vs library, lunch time vs study hall.

This experience will provide you with an analogy of how you can be a strong academic or scientist.

When it comes to analyzing research articles, you will understand there is a range in quality of research similar to the range in quality of listening environments.

Some articles are more credible than others. Just because "research says" does not mean the research was good research. For example, if you stand outside an ice cream store and survey everyone going by, you may find that 99% of people like ice cream.

Their research design could be poor, their procedural integrity low, or poor results due to attrition. You can understand a credible source vs a made up blog.

There is a range in quality and your experience with this is an asset.

8. Mishearing people 1.0

This experience provides you with scientific skepticism.

Is what I heard or read really accurate?

Is there data to support this claim?

Is their instrument of measurement an accurate way to measure?

That doesn't make sense, let's dig deeper.

You already see the world like a scientist. 

9. Mishearing people 2.0

You are a "code breaker."

All your ‘behind the scene’ response efforts: context clues, body language, lip reading, history with the person

Your work of thinking, “what sounds similar/rhymes with the sounds I heard and does it fit the context?” to fill in the gaps all the while continuing to listen and make adjustments in the moment.

You are very, very good at figuring out what people are saying with limited information.

You’re like a detective, a spy or a researcher.

Most people can not do this. They've never needed to.

It’s one of your strongest muscles to flex.

10. Mishearing people 3.0 -

You can tell authentic people from fake people. Truth from lies.

You have the ability to tune people out and look at their body language and actions. You will learn, "actions speak louder than words."

You are more immune to advertisements and branding. A human error is ‘frequency is equal to truth’. If you keep hearing over and over again "the sky is green," some people may believe the sky is green. Think of key slogans for politicians, brands, commercials etc.

You can make objective decisions because you are not bombarded by slogans.

Thank goodness we have people like you!